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Sex and the “90 Day Rule”

Think Like A Man Too

I felt the need to write this message to all of my single sisters out there that are flocking to the movies to see “Think Like A Man Too.” You are ranting and raving about how awesome the book and movies are, and how much insight it gave you. So I need to have a “keep it real” moment with you….. Warning: this is probably not a “feel good” post, but it is from the heart. It is not my intention to make anyone feel judged, and please believe I am writing about this because I have experienced it myself.

According to the infamous 90-day Rule, you should make a man wait 3 months to prove that he is genuinely interested in you before you sleep with him. Let’s break that down- this means you could be hypothetically be ‘doing it’ to 4 new guys every year and not even thinking twice about it…. After all, they each waited 90 days to get to know you, right? With this mentality, let’s just say you were hypothetically intimate with 4 new guys per year for 10 years? That’s 40 sexual partners, all because you wanted to “think like a man”! Girl, you need to go “think like a nun” and sit cho’ hot tail down somewhere before you end up “thinking like a baby momma” and chasing him down for child support. This mindset is destructive and will bring so much unnecessary stress and drama into your life. Not to mention the fact that Steve Harvey just told us our lady part was worth a measly 3 months- and we believed him.

Ladies, let me explain something to you- if you make a man wait 90 days before you sleep with him, guess what?

  • He’s gonna be on his best behavior for 90 days
  • While sleeping with the next chick for 89.5 days,
  • And come knocking on your door on the 91st day saying “hey, it’s time to pay me what you owe me”!

It’s far too easy to get sex nowadays-you really can’t, (and shouldn’t want to), use it to control his behavior. It’s manipulative, and your womanhood is worth far more than a 90-day grace period. I don’t care what you did in the past- your purity is priceless. You are 150% worth the wait! My dear sister, you deserve to be relentlessly pursued for as long as it takes.

The 90-day Rule also sends a man the message that sex is a reward that he is entitled to because he is on his best behavior. He should be on his best behavior because YOU ARE A QUEEN and you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect JUST FOR BEING YOU; whether you are “giving it up” or not. He does not deserve sex for treating you like a lady. So from here on out, please tell him, “respecting me and treating me like the amazing woman that I am is not conditional on when you will get laid… It’s a requirement sir.”

Bonus: If you really want to “think like a man”, just know that a man is smiling in your face, and laughing behind your back for thinking that you could actually change his mindset and moral compass by withholding sex from him for 90 days. He now thinks you’re predictable, and kinda easy. Now that’s some “thinking like a man for you”. #ToughLove

Your facial expressions while reading this

God didn’t intend for women to think like men. We are wired differently intentionally. And when it is done correctly, we come together in perfect harmony and beautifully balance each other. You don’t need to think like a man. You need to think like a Christian. Think like somebody who is SAVED. Think like a Savior who loved us so much that He died for our sins! Thinking like a man is what got most of us in the position we’re in now. Furthermore, why are we taking advice from Steve Harvey who is divorced after cheating and allegedly beating on his wife? He needs to start thinking like a Christian too. And a true Christian supposedly “trying to help single women” wouldn’t market a book toward Christian Singles that encourages premarital sex. That’s not the Word. Steve Harvey, you mad? sue me. This is not a protest to the movie, just an opposition to some of its concepts.

So the next time you feel the burning urge to “think like a man”, I encourage you to “think like a wife”. You are one of God’s most precious jewels.

New Living Translation  Romans:12:2
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

One time for the nation,


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About Saved Single ME

Christian, cupcake lover, owl collector, Grad student, Carter's Aunt, part-time extrovert, pink Starburst on deck, secretly loves listening to Christmas music year-round, secretly fears robots #Huglife

  • Phillmina
    February 6, 2018


  • Denise Carrera
    January 15, 2015

    I will buy YOUR book when it’s ready Britt! This is another great article.
    It is so refreshing to see young beautiful women remaining pure in their singleness.
    May God bless you!

  • Diane
    January 7, 2015


  • Meek
    August 15, 2014

    Great post! I am enjoying your blog, in which was shared by a great friend of mine, and writer/blogger of “The Proactive Eye”. I agree totally with negating the 90 day or any other “premarital sex” rule! It helps lower the standards of women, and places a horrible foundation for a single person in the dating game. First and foremost we women should set biblical standards and date with a purpose accordingly. Personal testimony: I used to date guys randomly (without purpose) and when I felt something for him and saw our relationship moving towards “serious”, I wld have sex with him. Well, while I knew better, I had some spiritual growth that needed to take place.
    I mentioned this to make clear I am not judging, but simply starting God expects more from out lives as women. He never intended us to sample or be sampled out. Stop playing he loves me, he loves me not, and the game of 90 day or any day before marriage game. Be happy in ur singleness for the time being, God wants u to serve Him and know Him for yourself in this time. Who knows your husband could be searching for you while u are in service. J/S.
    1 Thess 4:3-5,7 NLT

    And always remember there is salvation in Christ. Believe in DBR=death, burial, resurrection 1 Cor. 15:1-4
    Instagram: @movemeek

  • Amy Flowers
    August 7, 2014


  • Jade
    July 16, 2014

    Really inspirational. Truly a read every woman needs to see. The blessing in being a woman lies mainly in our nurturing spirit…why defy that within us by pretending to function as a man would when that Is one of our greatest gifts?

    You amaze me B! Keep em’ comin’!

  • Francheska
    June 28, 2014

    Then you see 40 year old women crying: “Why I never had children! Why a man never took me seriously!? Why any man never asked me for marriage? The answer is because they wanted to live by their own, pleasing the flesh. There is a book called: “Porqué los hombres aman a las cabronas ” ( Why men love bitches) and I read it and at the beginning, I though that the book was right, but now, that I truly understand how God created women to be, that true is a vomit from hell. And women who follow that wrong called “wisdom” are the most unhappy women right now. Even when they say that they are “ENJOYING PLAYING WITH MAN” the truth is that they feel alone, unworthy of respect, and OUT OF PLACE because they are trying to act as a way they wasn’t created for.

    Thank you for this post!

  • Emerald
    June 22, 2014

    *snaps* Be transformed by the RENEWING of your mind, not the REMOVING of your mind. God created women, just the way he wanted us to be. Thinking like a man “too”, will lead you to character and behavior defects because you’re taking on the traits and mindset of a man. That was not God’s intention. Discern.


  • Shae
    June 21, 2014

    Yea- I wouldn’t trust any type of relationship advice that comes from Steve Harvey–or any romantic comedy really. I go in with low-expectations, maybe have a good laugh–but that’s it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  • MS. ROSS
    June 20, 2014

    I LOVE THIS!!! You are correct,
    Women are FEELERS not THINKERS!
    We are wired to FEEL when its right and when its wrong…we just need to start being honest with ourselves.
    If something FEELS less than what we want,expect,desire…then it is not meant for us!
    If you have been thinking like a women all your life, thinking like a man is not going to change anything.
    You are taking advice from a man who is working on himself as we speak. He is trying to be a better person but he is in the process himself of being that better person.

    Ladies, your answers are not in THAT book but in THE BOOK!
    You have tried it your way for so long…try it another way…not his way but HIS way!
    Thanks Love for this blog…it was needed!

  • Briana
    June 20, 2014

    I think this was a good and insightful article. Think Like a Man reminded
    Me of Two can Play that game. Using rules to manipulate each other
    Into getting what we want insteading treating your partner with dignity and communicating your needs
    And thoughts

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