It is no secret that men in the spotlight set the standard of beauty. Let me explain…. A famous rapper drops a record and music video glorifying a barely dressed exotic looking Brazilian woman with an hour glass shape. The song and imagery is strategically fed and consumed by millions of impressionable men. And there you have it – with the help of media influence, big booty Latina girls are in the building.
Most young women (even if it is subconsciously), will conform to what society shows its men are finding attractive. So, if the men start swooning over blondes, be prepared to see the blonde hair dye and weaves flying off the shelves. If the men are glorifying big butts, you better believe you will see more women running out to purchase butt lifters, and even going to extremes like getting plastic surgery to get the look. Most recently, when rappers like Drake started adoring strippers and saying the strip club is the new normal, strippers became the new “it” girls. Stripping went from being taboo, to being as common as waitressing. Some women have even started accompanying their man to the strip club. Pole dancing classes are popping up on every corner, as thousands of wives and mothers are feeling the pressure to compete with the women twerking for cash. Woman are lowering their standards and boundaries to stay relevant in a world that says being a good girl is boring. (And to the men reading this, you shouldn’t do anything with your wife, that you would have a problem with somebody doing with your daughter.)
Kim K has gotten 3 rings after making a sex tape. And we have none. Just let that sink in. Welp, If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. The good girls are going bad, because the bad girls are getting all of the attention.
Do you ever feel like you are being overlooked? Like nobody is approaching you to ask for your number? Like you know you are attractive, but nobody is giving you the time of day? Like nobody sends you “goodmorning beautiful” text, and you aren’t on anybody’s radar? If you are feeling this way, GREAT! You are being hidden behind the cross! In the animal kingdom, when a wolf is hunting, he doesn’t attack healthy prey. He attacks the weakest one he can find because he knows it won’t put up much of a fight. You are being overlooked, because you are not an easy target like many of the women freely prancing around like injured birds being savagely devoured by the wolves.
Let me let you in on a secret: If you want to captivate a godly man, you must use godly tactics. A man with a true relationship with Christ will look past your glamorous face and pretty figure because he knows “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30”. He will seek a woman with standards, who carries herself in a way that will be a honorable representation of him. As Christian women we must recognize that we are not in competition with the world’s standard of beauty, but the LORDs. 1 Peter 3:3-4 reads, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” *disclaimer* This doesn’t mean that you should walk around looking a frumpy mess. Especially if you desire to marry someday. Men are visual, so they are typically first capitivated by what they see. You, woman of God, should always take pride in having a neat a well put together appearance. Not just for a man, but because you are a daughter of the King! What this scripture means is we should spend as much time sitting in God’s presence and allowing Him to make us over, as we do sitting in the beauty shop. A pretty woman with a nasty rebelious attitude is like those beautifully decorated display cakes made from styrofoam. It looks good from afar, but when you get close up, you find it is hardened and serves as nothing more than a pretty shell.
If beauty is so important, why are many of the world’s most beautiful women ending up divorced?
Being ‘pretty’ won’t save your relationship. Just ask Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Lopez, Halle Berry, Katie Holmes, Katy Perry, Porsha Williams, and Mariah Carey to name a few. Being pretty won’t keep him from cheating. It won’t stop financial issues or arguments. It won’t prepare you for motherhood or clean up your house. If you are spending all of your time, energy, and money trying to “look good” to find a man, you are wasting the precious time that you can be using to develop the character and strengths of a noble woman. Even worse, you might actually mess around and attract a clown who is only interested in what you look like. Sis, we must start striving to be virtuous, not “pretty”.
I am a true believer that what you post on social media is a strong indicator of what you feel about yourself. If all you post are cleavage showing, booty tooting pics and sexy selfies, it sends the message that you feel your looks are the best thing you have to offer. You posted 163 gym photos- but can you balance a checkbook? Your makeup is pretty- but can you season chicken? Your outfit is cute- but can you sew a button on a shirt or hem a pair of pants? There is nothing wrong with wanting to look good, but there are more important things than looks that define your strength and beauty as a woman. The physical is temporary, so we must start focusing on timeless beauty.
As always, I pray this meets you where you are. Do not grow weary in well doing! Real godly men marry godly women who have more to offer than “pretty”. If you ask a successful, godly, Christian man why he chose to marry his wife, he will likely tell you that it was the light illuminating from within her. He will tell you her modesty made her different from all of the girls showing everything to everybody. He will say that she has a great personality and sense of humor, is kind, loyal, prayerful, patient, understanding, hardworking, and an awesome mother to his children. He will tell you that she helped him accomplish his dreams by encouraging and praying for him constantly, and brought honor to his name by the way she carries herself. Though her looks may have initially drawn him in, her “pretty” alone could not sustain their family’s success or the longevity of their marriage. Her power is derived from her elegance, charm, and love for people. It is not her appearance that makes her a jewel in his crown, but her endless pursuit of Christ. Proverbs 3:15 “She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.”
One time for the nation,