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What A Man Wants

It is no secret that men in the spotlight set the standard of beauty. Let me explain…. A famous rapper drops a record and music video glorifying a barely dressed exotic looking Brazilian woman with an hour glass shape. The song and imagery is strategically fed and consumed by millions of impressionable men. And there you have it – with the help of media influence, big booty Latina girls are in the building.

Most young women (even if it is subconsciously), will conform to what society shows its men are finding attractive. So, if the men start swooning over blondes, be prepared to see the blonde hair dye and weaves flying off the shelves. If the men are glorifying big butts, you better believe you will see more women running out to purchase butt lifters, and even going to extremes like getting plastic surgery to get the look. Most recently, when rappers like Drake started adoring strippers and saying the strip club is the new normal, strippers became the new “it” girls. Stripping went from being taboo, to being as common as  waitressing. Some women have even started accompanying their man to the strip club. Pole dancing classes are popping up on every corner, as thousands of wives and mothers are feeling the pressure to compete with the women twerking for cash. Woman are lowering their standards and boundaries to stay relevant in a world that says being a good girl is boring. (And to the men reading this, you shouldn’t do anything with your wife, that you would have a problem with somebody doing with your daughter.)

Kim K has gotten 3 rings after making a sex tape. And we have none. Just let that sink in. Welp, If you can’t beat ’em,  join ’em. The good girls are going bad, because the bad girls are getting all of the attention.

Do you ever feel like you are being overlooked? Like nobody is approaching you to ask for your number? Like you know you are attractive, but nobody is giving you the time of day? Like nobody sends you “goodmorning beautiful” text, and you aren’t on anybody’s radar? If you are feeling this way, GREAT! You are being hidden behind the cross! In the animal kingdom, when a wolf is hunting, he doesn’t attack healthy prey. He attacks the weakest one he can find because he knows it won’t put up much of a fight. You are being overlooked, because you are not an easy target like many of the women freely prancing around like injured birds being savagely devoured by the wolves.

imageLet me let you in on a secret: If you want to captivate a godly man, you must use godly tactics. A man with a true relationship with Christ will look past your glamorous face and pretty figure because he knows “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30”. He will seek a woman with standards, who carries herself in a way that will be a honorable representation of him. As Christian women we must recognize that we are not in competition with the world’s standard of beauty, but the LORDs. 1 Peter 3:3-4 reads, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” *disclaimer* This doesn’t mean that you should walk around looking a frumpy mess. Especially if you desire to marry someday. Men are visual, so they are typically first capitivated by what they see. You, woman of God, should always take pride in having a neat a well put together appearance. Not just for a man, but because you are a daughter of the King! What this scripture means is we should spend as much time sitting in God’s presence and allowing Him to make us over, as we do sitting in the beauty shop. A pretty woman with a nasty rebelious attitude is like those beautifully decorated display cakes made from styrofoam. It looks good from afar, but when you get close up, you find it is hardened and serves as nothing more than a pretty shell.

If beauty is so important, why are many of the world’s most beautiful women ending up divorced?

Being ‘pretty’ won’t save your relationship. Just ask Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Lopez, Halle Berry, Katie Holmes, Katy Perry, Porsha Williams, and Mariah Carey to name a few. Being pretty won’t keep him from cheating. It won’t stop financial issues or arguments. It won’t prepare you for motherhood or clean up your house. If you are spending all of your time, energy, and money trying to “look good” to find a man, you are wasting the precious time that you can be using to develop the character and strengths of a noble woman. Even worse, you might actually mess around and attract a clown who is only interested in what you look like. Sis, we must start striving to be virtuous, not “pretty”.

I am a true believer that what you post on social media is a strong indicator of what you feel about yourself. If all you post are cleavage showing, booty tooting pics and sexy selfies, it sends the message that you feel your looks are the best thing you have to offer. You posted 163 gym photos- but can you balance a checkbook? Your makeup is pretty- but can you season chicken? Your outfit is cute- but can you sew a button on a shirt or hem a pair of pants? There is nothing wrong with wanting to look good, but there are more important things than looks that define your strength and beauty as a woman. The physical is temporary, so we must start focusing on timeless beauty.

As always, I pray this meets you where you are. Do not grow weary in well doing! Real godly men marry godly women who have more to offer than “pretty”. If you ask a successful, godly, Christian man why he chose to marry his wife, he will  likely tell you that it was the light illuminating from within her. He will tell you her modesty made her different from all of the girls showing everything to everybody. He will say that she has a great personality and sense of humor, is kind, loyal, prayerful, patient, understanding, hardworking, and an awesome mother to his children. He will tell you that she helped him accomplish his dreams by encouraging and praying for him constantly, and brought honor to his name by the way she carries herself. Though her looks may have initially drawn him in, her “pretty” alone could not sustain their family’s success or the longevity of their marriage. Her power is derived from her elegance, charm, and love for people. It is not her appearance that makes her a jewel in his crown, but her endless pursuit of Christ. Proverbs 3:15 “She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.”

One time for the nation,


About Saved Single ME

Christian, cupcake lover, owl collector, Grad student, Carter's Aunt, part-time extrovert, pink Starburst on deck, secretly loves listening to Christmas music year-round, secretly fears robots #Huglife

  • Brandy
    June 28, 2016

    Thanks for writing such an eaut-to-sndersyand article on this topic.

  • Dortha
    June 28, 2016

    That’s not just the best anrews. It’s the bestest answer!

  • Della
    June 28, 2016

    That insight solves the prbmelo. Thanks!

  • Im
    December 13, 2015

    Beautiful post. “You’re pretty – but can you season chicken?” summed it up perfectly! This came right on time. I’m a new follower of your blog and a big fan 🙂 God bless you girl x

  • Angela
    March 8, 2015

    Two words ..Hallelujah! and Amen!

  • deeeeee
    February 13, 2015

    Like you, i am a new Christian into the faith. God bless you on your walk and may the devil steer clear of you. You have a truly beautiful perspective on things.

  • Sandy
    January 21, 2015

    I’m glad I ran across your blog! I am old enough to be your mother but have found your writing to be very inspiring! I have a daughter who I will pass your link to. I pray that she will come to know that she can stand up against a wicked world that continues to be made manifest in pop culture and that she will not be alone in doing so! You are a light in an ever darkening world. Keep writing for these impressionable young girls. You have a God given talent! Thank you

  • Jamie Shah
    January 15, 2015

    This was very encouraging to read! I think in this day and age it just goes to show what people have put their true value into… Sex… Money… and Self-gratification. This also makes it harder to find a genuine man/woman. As disciples of Christ, it can still be a struggle to “wait” for that godly man or woman. It is such a daily battle for many. This has happened to me a few times where Satan puts a person at just that riiiiight time… where I think I’m STRONG enough to handle myself or knowing I won’t date that person! Then, I am dating the wrong man. I have declared it over my life for this new year, that I can not fall into this trap anymore. Saying no and waiting for the right man… a God fearing man who wants and desires a woman who is after the HEART of God. That is my prayer for all the other women out there as well! We must talk about our struggles instead of hiding behind our sins. It also holds us to be more accountable by being more open.
    Again, I really love reading your Blogs but this one especially pricked my heart!

  • Denise
    January 15, 2015

    You knocked this out of the park Britt!

  • Hafsa Gillani
    January 15, 2015

    I wanna let you know that I still follow your blog and have read every single post! I love the messages you have especially to young women. I wanna say that your advice has personally helped me in becoming a ststronger and more put together young woman (even though I’m still learning!). I’m not Christian but feel that your advice applies towards every woman and maybe even every religion!
    Thanks Britt, love u and miss u!
    P.S. write more if u have time lol, I know ur busy with school but I love reading ur blogs (:

  • James Chavez
    January 15, 2015

    It’s true that most modern Men seek and desire the video vixen/stripper type of Woman. But beauty is only skin deep. A Woman’s true Beauty comes within. And should compliment her exterior Beauty. And not overlooked by it. A Gentlemen will always chose Classy over Rachet. The rest don’t care and desire to have the type of Woman that their favorite Celebrity has at the time. And Ultimately has no value or longevity with any Man. They’re what I like to call “Women for the Moment”. #classyoverrachet

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