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My Engagement Is Broken. I’m Not.

Greetings to my beloved Saved Single family! You may have noticed that I have been fairly quiet on my blog and social media lately, and I am finally ready to give an explanation for my whereabouts.

As some of you may know, I was recently engaged. After a 4-month courtship, I was thrilled and excited to embark on the new journey towards marriage. I was absolutely stunned and overwhelmed with the love and support that I received from hundreds of my wonderful friends, family, and readers. But shortly after my enthusiastic “YES”, I had a change of heart……

Sometimes it looks like an Apple until you see what's inside....

Sometimes it looks like an Apple until you see what’s inside….

I do not currently feel led to share the specifics of my experience with my ex-fiancé, but I will say that I am nobody’s fool. I don’t care how many times ya’ll pray together a day, or how many scriptures he can quote. If his words and his actions are not adding up, for your sanity, let him go. Luke 6:44 says, “A tree is identified by its fruit.” And I quickly came to the realization that an orange tree was trying to convince me that it was an apple tree. We must stop marrying people’s potential and start marrying their reality because an orange will not magically morph into an apple, just because it has a wedding ring. He is who he is. Once you’ve seen it, you must decide if you are willing to live with it for the rest of your life.

I wrote this blog to encourage any person who is trying to find the strength to break off that empty engagement. You may feel pressured by your family. You may feel embarrassed that your relationship did not work out. You may be frustrated that you’ve already invested money and time in the wedding planning. But if God did not give you peace about marrying that person, DON’T DO IT! I believe so many of us willfully breeze past the warning signs God allows us to see because we are tired of waiting, fearful that we will never meet somebody else, and determined to rid ourselves of loneliness- even if it means marrying a person that we know we should not marry.

Ask any divorced person and they will tell you- it is better to be happily single than miserably married. So what’s the rush? For some strange reason, many of us are convinced that marriage will solve all of our problems. In actuality, it will MAGNIFY them.


I believe there is an overwhelming assumption that a broken engagement leaves one heartbroken and grief stricken instead of empowered. My conversations over the past few weeks go like this:

Them: Congratulations Britt! Where’s the ring?!

Me: I ended the engagement.

Them: What? Oh No! OMG, I am so sorry to hear that! You must be devastated. Are you okay? OMG?! *deep hug*

Me: Um, yes, actually I’m great 😉

Them: What happened?

Me: I decided I’d rather have a broken engagement than a broken marriage

I hope this blog makes you think about broken engagements differently. Engagements are meant to be broken- marriage covenants aren’t. A broken engagement is often times an avoided divorce.

I am grateful for your concern, I really am. But I don’t need comforting. My engagement is broken. I’m not.  A emotionally healthy individual does not fear singleness, but embraces it as a time for endless freedom and growth! I learned so much about myself and received confirmation that I am whole in Christ and more concerned about being obedient than changing my last name. And after going through this experience, I commend any person who possesses the wisdom and courage to walk away from a bad relationship before it gets to the alter. It is so easy to get caught up in the wedding hype and well wishes that we completely lose sight of the true purpose of marriage. We spend our entire lives fantasizing and planning the special day that we will walk down the aisle to the man of our dreams, failing to realize when the clock strikes 12, the DJ packs up, and the guest leave our reception WE ARE STUCK WITH THIS GUY FOR THE REST OF OUR LIFE. FOREVER. UNTIL WE DIE. 

So make sure you choose wisely. Don’t marry a clown!

When I finally decided that I had tolerated enough foolishness and wanted out, I did not break down and cry. I did not have a ‘Waiting to Exhale’ moment andimage set fire to his clothes while chain smoking the night away. I simply recognized that I desired a marriage built on respect, integrity, trust, honesty, and Christ. A marriage lacking any of these essential founding principles is simply not worth the time, effort, or headache. So, I gave the ring back. And with the help of my Pastor, the love of my parents, and support from my wonderful sister-friends, I undoubtedly saved myself from a lifetime filled with frustration and heartache at the hands of a man who didn’t really love me. It wasn’t love, because love does not hurt. It was dysfunction. And dysfunction has no place in my life.

The 2 most important questions you will ever answer on this earth are:

  1. Will you choose to accept or reject Christ?
  2. Who will you choose to marry?

I already got the first one right, and so far, I’m pretty sure I’ve gotten the second one right too! I am moving forward and super excited about my continued journey of singleness with Christ! I pray that this meets you where you are, and that you’ll always put your hope in God, not marriage. The only relationship that should define you is the relationship you have with your Creator.

 1 Corinthians 7:28 “But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.”

One time for the nation,

~Britt

Saved Single ME again

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About Saved Single ME

Christian, cupcake lover, owl collector, Grad student, Carter's Aunt, part-time extrovert, pink Starburst on deck, secretly loves listening to Christmas music year-round, secretly fears robots #Huglife

13 Comments
  • Marnie
    June 28, 2016

    Geez, that’s unlbieevable. Kudos and such.

  • Tamara
    February 12, 2016

    Getting to the party late but just stumbled on this blog when I googled “what the Bible says about breaking off an engagement” or something like that. I am currently where you were and have finally made the decision to break off the engagement completely-for good. Now comes the execution, which won’t be easy, but worth it in the long run. I pray continually for courage and wisdom. Thanks for sharing your story. It’s encouraging to hear from someone who has lived through it! I see it as confirmation and an extra nudge to have the courage to just go through with it. I’m curious-how did you handle your breakup? I mean how did you actually go through with it?

    • Brittaneé
      February 12, 2016

      Hi Tamara! Honestly it was SUPER easy, unlike every breakup I’ve ever experienced in the past. Here’s the difference: Because we did not have sex, I did not have to deal with any emotional, spiritual, or sexual soul ties to this man. I prayed about it, informed my Pastor and Dad…. and let it go. I blocked his phone number, and social media, and have not seen or heard from him since. Out of sight, out of mind! I can honestly say it was the wisest decision I’ve ever made.

      I don’t know the details of your situation, but I can tell you with certainty that you must let the peace of God rule your heart. If it doesn’t feel right and the Holy Spirit is leading you away, take it as the warning that will come before destruction. You will feel peace and confidence about the man God truly has for you. Sending prayers for your strength even now, YOU CAN DO IT!

      -Britt
      Savedsingleme@gmail.com

  • Uju
    October 31, 2015

    I can absolutely, totally relate to this post because I called off an engagement too.

    It definitely is not about the quality of the ring or the fact that people say this is every girls dream, but then are you at peace with your Spirit man.

    When I actually called it off, months later it was like the real him surfaced and I bless the name of the Lord everyday because indeed he rescued me from a divorce, he rescued me from the sadness of life.

    I am a Nigerian and I was engaged to a British guy(young one at that) and so most people envied the physical but then marriage goes beyond the physical because it is by the Grace of the almighty we pull through all life’s struggles, and imagine a marriage without his Grace?

    Amazing article.

    To the ladies out there who are tying themselves for the fear of not finding another. Little do you know you are putting a padlock on your door of greatness, success, happiness and peace. Let go and let the door be open.

    It has never been about how far but how well. Nobody will be concerned about how long you waited, everyone will be inspired by the radiance of your home.

    http://www.lifestreasury.com

  • Tanya
    August 10, 2015

    Hey Britt

    To God be the glory & to you be the blessings! I feel like you told my story. I too was engaged after a short courtship. I thought it was Godly as we had so many things in common including praying together & putting God 1st (or so I thought). But as time went on & as my mom very often says, “let the cat reveal its claws” & so He did. Long story short I left peacefully & 3 months prior to our wedding (7/18/15). I’d rather be heart-broken but for God’s sake. Also, agreeing with what you similarly stated: I’d rather a broken engagement than a broken divorce. Plus I felt like the relationship was pushing me away from Jesus because it was becoming difficult. So it was either the relationship or God & of course I went with my Lord & Savior (a lamb always returns home 🙂 )

    Lesson learned: stay rooted in God & take my time. The man God sent for me is a gentleman and is willing to wait. I’m h

    Be blessed, lovely & keep posting! 🙂

  • Kelso
    July 21, 2015

    Thank you, thank you thank you. I stumbled upon your blog. No idea how, but I’m assuming God. Everything you have wrote spoke to me. I recently ended my engagement and have been a “happier person” I ignored the warning signs from God and got caught up in all the wedding planning craze. I’m so glad I followed my heart. God has and continues to show me peace.

  • Bridgette
    May 27, 2015

    Wow…..the Lord is so amazing with his timing. Almost a year ago, I broke off my engagement as well. Prior to and even here after our break up, the devil had me questioning myself as to whether I made the right decision. Your story was sent by the Lord as a confirmation that I made the right decision for both him and myself. Your story reminds me of the wise saying, “When people show you who they are, please believe them.” In addition, I appreciate your clarification on love vs. dysfunction. I think so many people confuse the two. May God bless you with all your future endeavors!

  • Jessica Dockery
    May 13, 2015

    As a 28 year old happily divorced woman, I strongly agree with everything you said. My ex husband said all the right things with the intentions of getting over on me. I went into the military and he pretended to be head over heels in love. Long story short the more him and his family could “get” out of me the happier I made them. Lets not discuss the adultery and trifling lies being told on me as if I was a horrible person. I tried to work it out for a daughter we had a year after we married but I woke up one day and realized I can’t teach her how to be strong If i’m not happy. Since our divorce I have found true love by waiting on GOD and I could not be happier. Kudos to you for being strong enough to walk away!

  • Deborah J.
    May 12, 2015

    Britt, many times we encounter trials in life that make us stronger & better prepared for the next chapter in our life! Thank you for sharing, someone will definitely benefit from your testimony. To God be the glory for your allowing Him to use you! Your words are so encouraging, enlightening, and spirit filled !

  • Felicia Layeni
    May 12, 2015

    Beautiful post full of wisdom. Do you mind if I share it?

    • Brittaneé
      May 13, 2015

      Of course Soror 🙂 Thank you for being one of my greatest writing inspirations and teaching me the ways of ladies…..

  • Lydia
    May 12, 2015

    Very well stated Britt! I’m so very proud of you for not only having the courage to come to a realization that it must end, but also the courage to actually execute it. Thanks for sharing in a mature manner. Stay encouraged Soror!

  • peter
    May 12, 2015

    can i get a single lady who is saved aged 22 and willing to relocate to kenya

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