Valentine’s Day 2014. A dreadful, awful, and blatant reminder that I was still alone. No one would be surprising me with roses. No one was planning a romantic dinner for 2, or sending me those delicious Godiva chocolate covered strawberries that I love so much. No one would be sending me a sentimental text, or tagging me in a cute memory pic on social media. I even considered calling out of work because I was not looking forward to seeing all of my co-workers gawking over sappy teddy bears and the stupid pink candy hearts they received from their boyfriends and husbands. I deactivated my Facebook, closed my blinds, and refused to open the door for anybody…. except the Papa John’s pizza delivery man. Absolute avoidance was the only way to spare myself the torment of seeing the constant declarations of a love that seemed to exist for everybody but me.
Though I truly believed I had finally reached a place of contentment and happiness in my single life, Valentine’s Day 2014 came and straight Floyd Money Mayweathered me back into the harsh reality that I was secretly struggling with discontentment, bitterness, and jealousy.
I was mad. I once again felt overwhelmingly abandoned by all of the men who promised they’d never leave. I was unhappy. Seeing everyone else celebrating their starry-eyed romance magnified my isolation. I was jealous. I couldn’t understand how seemingly every person I’ve ever known had managed to find the love of their life, while I spent the day fighting back tears and praying that I would someday meet mine. And I was guilty, because I knew none of what I was feeling was Christ-like.
Simply put: if you are currently single and not looking forward to Valentine’s Day, I know exactly what you’re going through.
After struggling through most of the day, I went to the Lord in prayer, and vented my frustration. “Lord, will I ever be found?” As I quietly awaited His response, I heard 4 words that would forever change my Single life. “Isn’t my love enough??” As I sat in the Lord’s presence and contemplated the question He so delicately placed in my spirit, I made the decision, from that day forward, it would be. If I never received another rose, if I never received another box of chocolates, and if I never experienced a man placing a ring on my finger, God’s love was enough. Sometimes, we become so focused on obtaining temporary earthly Valentine’s that we forget God already gave us the ultimate Valentine on the cross.
Determined not to waste Valentine’s Day 2014 sulking, I pulled myself together. I did my hair, put on some makeup and my prettiest dress, and took myself on a sushi date for 1. I spent time with my little brothers and nephew. I laughed with my best friend as we shared our timeless inside jokes. And I rejoiced, because I finally began to understand that a day dedicated to expressing love is not restricted to romantic relationships. It can happily be shared with parents, siblings, friends, (or even just you and the Lord) and still be completely enjoyable!Sis, as tempting as it may be, do not send your ex a “Happy V-Day text”. Do not accept that date offer from the man who believes “chillin’ at the crib wit’ chu” is an appropriate outing (we all know what that really means). Do not hop on Match.com frantically searching for someone who will send you some e-attention to cushion your lonely feelings. And don’t let the ILLUSION that everyone else seems to be “in love” make you feel rejected. The truth is, most of the people romancing on the 14th, will be back to lying, cheating, and cursing each other out on the 15th. Don’t believe the hype! Real love goes deeper than a teddy bear and roses once a year. Instead of wasting your time seeking comfort in a relationship with a man who only shows you love on February 14, start preparing for the man who will feel just as strongly about you on February 15, 16, 17, and 18 too.
And if having candy hearts and teddy bears is that important to you, cut the middle man out, and GO BUY YOUR OWN. Preferably on February 15 when everything is ½ off anyway….
Valentine’s Day 2014 was the day that solidified my appreciation for the wonderful people in my life who have consistently shown me unconditional love. It was the day that showed me that I am whole in Christ, and no matter what my relationship status is, I am surrounded by love 365 days of the year.
I am so happy that I did not settle and waste my time entertaining “space fillers” because whatever God has for me is truly worth the wait! God has continuously amazed me and shown me that trying to rush through seasons is pointless because His timing is perfect, and happy Singleness is the greatest preparation for the marriage we desire. All this to say, BE ENCOURAGED SIS! This could very well be the last Valentine’s Day you ever experience as a Single, so make it count!
As always, I pray this meets you where you are. 1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
One time for the nation,