Definition of sexual purity: getting no sexual gratification from anyone or anything except your spouse.
I wanted to do this post because I received a ton of questions from young ladies who desire to get married, but are struggling to say ‘no’ to sex before the vow (notice I didn’t say ring, because the engagement ring means nothing until the license is signed). Anyway, many women believe that no man will truly wait until marriage. So, in order to keep his attention and the relationship in “good standing”, many are caving into the pressure to have premarital sex.
The word of the day is SAMPLES.
While in the mall, have you ever walked by the pretzel shop and seen them passing out samples? Usually, you’ll walk by and try one- and if it’s really good, you’ll disguise yourself, walk back, and take another one! But rarely do you end up buying a whole pretzel (because your temporary craving has been satisfied and you got full off the samples.)
Our relationships with men work the same way. If you’re giving samples out to everyone, you’re satisfying their temporary craving without them ever having the need to pay the price for you. And usually, they won’t.
Notice, the jewelry store doesn’t give out samples because jewels are VALUABLE. You don’t have to sample a diamond to know its worth. (And yes, to any smarty pants out there, I’m fully aware that diamonds are made from coal, so they truly aren’t valuable and blah blah blah) Stick with me people…..
Ladies, are you passing out your samples like the pretzel shop? Or are you securely protected, guarded, & enclosed waiting to be seeked out by a serious buyer at the jewelry store? A woman who knows her worth does not need to give out samples. The man God truly has for her will seek her out and recognize her value.
Another problem with samples, is when you try too many, it’s easy to get confused! Try a sample of chocolate cake, followed by a sample of lemon meringue, followed by a sample of peach cobbler. Individually, they are great. But when you start tasting a bunch of different flavors, it’s easy to become indecisive and confused about what you want. I believe this is one of the reasons why so many of us are walking around confused with the inability to make a sound relationship decision. We’ve tried too many samples and can’t figure out what we want!
When you give a man everything you have to offer, he no longer has the incentive to work for your heart. If you are already cooking for him, cleaning up for him, sharing a bank account, vacationing together, staying the night, having sex, and raising children- what do you guys have to look forward to in a marriage? You’ll have a fancy ceremony, then return home to the house that you already shared together, while continuing to do the same things that you were already doing before the wedding. This is not intended to make anyone feel judged, but this is the reality of what the world encourages us to do. It is easy to become complacent and delay progression when we are already reaping the benefits of progress.
I don’t know about you, but I want my wedding day to mean something! I am worth the wait, and so are you! And you know who else is worth the wait? Your future spouse. Why should your eventual husband pay full price for what you freely gave to everyone else? It’s time to get serious about this and stop letting everyone take a piece of you. Pretzels are meant to be sampled; you’re not.
I pray that this meets you where you are. Be encouraged, and be intentional about your walk with Christ. God’s best for your life will lead, wait, and respect your decision to honor God with your body.
Let’s start a movement! #ImNotYourSample (tweet & Instagram this with your best selfie, I would love to see and feature my lovely sisters in Christ!)
Ephesians 5:3 “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”
One time for the nation,