Yes. That is me. On the floor. Savagely clinging to the bouquet I just nearly had a brawl over. And since the day this picture was taken at my dear friend Dani’s wedding 2 years ago, EVERY one of my friends in the pic now has a serious boyfriend, or a shiny new engagement ring. And me….. well, I have a bruise on my thigh from diving to the floor. So much for that “whoever catches the bouquet is next” bologna. Who made that crap up anyway?
I look back at this picture and chuckle. At the tender age of 24, I was desperate to become and wife a mother. I looked forward to changing dirty diapers and baking star-shaped cookies for my kiddos. I couldn’t wait to go on vacations with my new hubby, and pick out color coordinated cardigans for our annual family greeting card. And, I guess I’m still looking forward to those things (minus the corny matching cardigans). But catching the bouquet that day taught me a lesson. My life is not controlled by superstitions, traditions, or an imaginary clock that is telling me that I am running out of time; it is controlled by God. And His purpose for me is greater than becoming a wife and baby factory. Having a family someday may become the icing, but it’s definitely not the Brittaneé cake.
Sis, don’t you spend another moment worrying about “when” and “if” you will get married. The beautiful thing about meeting your future husband is it will probably happen on an ordinary day, just like this one. Nobody wakes up in the morning and says, “Yay, I’m so excited! I get to meet my dream guy today!” It sorta just happens…… Kinda like death. You know it’s eventually coming, but you really don’t want to know exactly when because you’ll obsess over it. (Insert invitation to salvation message: choose Christ and you can have everlasting life!)
What God has for you, is FOR YOU. And it will happen when it is supposed to. Trying to rush the process will only make you bitter. Disappointment is caused by unmet expectations. So, if you are walking around convincing yourself that you will be married by age 28, you will be highly disappointed if it still has not happened by your 29th birthday. You have too much life to live and a special purpose to accomplish during your short time on this earth. If you really begin to embrace the Single life in Christ, you will not be focused on being the next in line to get married.
It’s time to get busy! Have you discovered what God has called you to do? Pay off those credit cards, hit the gym, take that fabulous vacation with your girls, buy those shoes, eat 2 pieces of cake, forget to wash the dishes, and enjoy the free time you get to spend developing a strong relationship with God. Though I have never been married, I believe this is one of the most important components of a lasting relationship. Christian divorce rates are not much different than anybody else’s. That means we are missing the mark, and are collectively losing sight of the purpose of marriage. Loving God won’t necessarily prevent a future divorce, but it will give you (and hopefully your spouse), the patience and tools needed to stick it out through life’s storms.
The average marriage that ends in divorce last about 8 years. That is why we have so many people getting married in their 20’s & divorced in their 30’s. Instead of being jealous of all the people you see getting married, PRAY FOR THEM. Unfortunately, many of them won’t make it. I don’t say that to be negative, but to make it known that Satan is on a mission to destroy the sanctity of marriage, and he is doing a great job. PLEASE, use your time as a Single to learn about nurturing a successful marriage. There are thousands of books out there, and the Bible is one of the most important. When I began reading/understanding the qualities of a good wife and mother, I definitely did not make the cut. But, it allowed me to identify my weak areas (like laziness, pride, and being argumentative), so that I could allow God to CHANGE me. My future husband will be alot happier on the day we marry now, than he ever could have been with my attitude and selfishness 2 years ago.
If you want to walk down the aisle so bad, just go to grocery store. My personal fave is Walmart’s aisle 16. It’s super long, has Oreo’s at the end, and is not far from the bacon. So after I walk, I get to buy myself wedding gifts! #winning.
Oh, and next time, I’ll pass on the bouquet toss. I don’t need a floral arrangement to know that God has a special guy waiting on the other side of my obedience.
I love you guys! Thank you for helping my blog reach over 1 MILLION VIEWS! I never take it for granted that you have taken the time to read, share, tweet, comment, pray for, and walk on this journey with me. Just know that I am earnestly praying that you enjoy every moment of your singleness and that you are fully prepared for the blessings coming your way!
1 Corinthians 7:34 “and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world–how she can please her husband.”
One time for the nation,