It’s officially “wedding season”. A few months ago, I received 4 different wedding invitations in my mailbox within 3 days. As I carefully opened each one, I grew excited to see that my sister friends had found their true loves! Each bride had chosen a gorgeous theme, with beautiful colors, and flawless engagement photos. But the longer I stared at the invitations, the more discouraged and bitter I became with my own situation. My friends were planning their honeymoons, while I was single as heck, planning to eat a Pop-tart for dinner. I couldn’t believe I had wasted half of my 20’s in and out of terrible relationships that only left me feeling hurt and rejected in the end with nothing to show for it.
“God, why is everybody getting married except me? Even the crazy chicks on Bridezilla’s have a man. Where’s my husband? What am I doing wrong? What’s wrong with me? Will I ever meet a decent guy out here? Should I move?”
Have you ever felt this way? Like everyone around you is in a happy relationship while you spend your evenings alone eating Cheetos and watching ratchet TV? Like you’re trying your hardest to live right, but you are growing weary in waiting? Like you’ll never meet a person that’s ‘just right’ for you because they are all taken or simply don’t exist? Been there, done that.
I called my Mom to vent about the single struggling, and she gave me these wise words:
“When I was your age, I went through the same thing. All of my friends were getting married. They all had lavish weddings, fabulous dresses, and picture perfect husbands while I was spending my day’s solo and buying them wedding gifts. Literally, within a 5 year period, every friend I knew was married. But guess where they all are now? DIVORCED. That’s right, every last one of them is divorced. Everybody was in such a rush to get married, and now they are being forced to face the single life all over again in their 40’s and 50’s because it didn’t work out the first time. I was dead last out of all of my friends to get married, and your father and I are still together to this day. So stop worrying about WHEN you will get married, and start focusing on becoming a godly woman who is worth marrying. (Reason #347 my Momma is awesome!)
So ask yourself, would you rather be single now and wait for God to send you the right one– or rush and get married out of loneliness, only to end up single anyway after ya’ll divorce in a few years? I’d much rather take my time and do it right the first time!
In the meantime, It’s time for YOU to focus on YOU. How are you going to spend a lifetime with another human being if you’re not able to spend a few years with yourself? Think about it- why wouldn’t you want to enjoy 5 years of singleness when the next chapter of your life may include you spending the next 50 years taking care of and catering to another person?
God Gave His Most Important Assignments to People While They Were Alone
- When Moses spoke to the burning bush, he didn’t take his homies. He was alone.
- When Abraham was told that he would be the father of many nations, his wife (Sarah) wasn’t with him. He was alone.
- When Mary was told that she would mother the Savior of the world, she wasn’t hanging out with her girlfriends. She was alone.
And if you look all throughout the bible, an overwhelming majority of time, God gave instruction and wisdom to people WHEN THEY WERE ALONE. *hint hint* If God hasn’t sent you a spouse yet, it’s likely because He wants to give you direction on your earthly assignment and reveal His purpose for your life! And if marriage could potentially distract you, He may need you to be alone for a season so you can get focused and learn to depend on Him.
So today, I encourage you embrace the single life. Being alone does not mean you have to be lonely, God is trying to speak to you; are you ready to listen? Your wedding day will come soon enough. So today, lets focus on what God has called you to do.
9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
One time for the nation,